P1

 

 

 

 

 
P2

 

 

As an independant company we bring together the strengths of integrity and impartiality are core to our business relationships.

 

DJ FOLEY

Property Consultants

Cavendish House

15 Whiteladies Road

Bristol BS8 1PB

Telephone

0117 907 4369

 
 
PROUD TO BE
MAIN SPONSOR
 
p3 

 

 

 

 

 
Officials:
 
President
Charles Barron
Chairman
Andrew Myland
Vice Chairman
Paul Sealey
Treasurer
Peter Bradbury
Secretary
Ian McNally
Jason Tarr
Programme & Web
Ray Bright
 
Committee
Zaki Elgham
Lee Douglas
Lee Douglas
Damian McManus
Trevor Richards
Cameron Tarr

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

             INDEX 
Chairman's Chat  (4)
Manager's Notes  (5)
Player's Profiles  (7-13)
Fixtures & Results (14-15)
League Tables (16)
Gallery  (17)
Player Stats (18)
Opponent's History  (20)
Opponent's Profiles  (21-23)
League Review  (25-29)
NLP Column  (30-31)
 
   Team Line Up  (33)
 
 
        SPONSORS ADS
            PJ Foley  (2)
             Marcliff  (6)
               Boca  (24)
P4

 

 

 

 

 

 

A warm welcome to Arnall Drive to the players, spectators, and management team of this evening’s visitors Frampton United.

 

Winning 7 of our last 8 matches has been marvellous to witness and has seen us go from being in a pretty perilous position in late January to being mathematically safe with 8 matches still to play. Predictably our one loss in that time was against tonight’s opponents and also the team we will play in the League Cup Final on the 10th May. The run the 1st team are on has lifted the whole club, in particular our Reserves who are second in the Bristol & Suburban Premier Division and our Sunday team who have won the Senior Division of the Bristol Sunday League. The aim now is to continue the run and finish as high up the table as possible whilst also ‘blooding’ some younger players for next season.

 

If you can help with sponsoring a match, player, or pitch side advertising board, or would just like to help and get involved with the running of the club please speak to myself or to another committee member who will be pleased to speak to you about any potential involvement.

 

Finally, please remember ‘we win together, we lose together but most importantly we stick together’

 

Andrew

P5

 

 

 

 

 
 
A warm welcome to the players,
management and spectators of Frampton
United to Arnall Drive, the home of Henbury & Rockleaze FC.
 
Saturday's hard fought win against Totterdown United gave us the 3 points required to guarantee County League football for another season, and came as a great relief to both players and management.  In hindsight, the transition from astro-turf to grass was underestimated, and took us all a little too long to re-adapt to, perhaps lulled into a false sense of security following a strong pre-season.  Nonetheless, a corner has been turned, and it allows us all to enjoy the remaining fixtures this season, and gives me an opportunity to look at a wider pool of players as we prepare for next season.  With games coming thick and fast over the next month, it will be necessary to rotate, but we can now do so without the same pressures from the first half of the season.  Hopefully, with the chains removed, the lads will respond positively to this new freedom, and have been challenged to just go out and express themselves.
 
Tonight's fixture against Frampton will be a fascinating one, being the reverse of the away fixture a couple of weeks ago, in which Frampton came away with a 1-0 win courtesy of an early Manolo Espada goal.  I felt in that fixture we were unfortunate not to come away with at least a point after a strong first half showing, however, credit to Frampton's defence who maintained the shut-out.  
 
To keep our excellent run going against a strong Frampton side, we'll require a similar showing from H&R tonight as has been demonstrated against Ruardean and Totterdown - patient and gritty.  I hope you all enjoy the match.
 
Bradders
P6

 

 

 

 

P7

 

 

 

 

JORDAN DUNNING –GOALKEEPER

No.1 ‘keeper, Jordan had a sensational 2023-24 season with 8 clean sheets and a number of top performances which contributed to making the team so hard to beat Jordan dominates his area and makes collecting balls into the box look effortless. His massive kicks have also been known to catch a few teams out

HARRY TRETT – GOALKEEPER

Former Newport County stopper, Trett brings a commanding presence to the side, blending pin-point distribution with excellent shot-stopping

 

TASMAN ROOK – FULL BACK

Tas joined the club in the second half of the 2022/23 season from Chippenham Town, but a series of injuries has limited his appearances to date. A very gifted player, Tas reads the game situation very well and has proven to be adaptable in a number of shapes. If he can stay fit, one to watch for the future

PETER IRELAND – FULL BACK

Nicest lad in the club, Pete nonetheless puts it all in on the pitch and is a true competitor. Not the most prolific in front of goal, Pete has nonetheless scored his annual goal (a sublime chip) early this season, which will take the pressure off.

P8

1

 

 

 

BLERAN THAQI – FULL or / CENTRE BACK After a breakthrough season, former Henbury U18s player Bleran has starred throughout preseason with a number of mature performances. Strong both defensively and in possession, Bleran has excellent potential and will be one to watch for the future

JORDAN BUCKETT (CAPT) – CENTRE BACK A natural leader on and off the pitch, Jordan has matured well into the captaincy, leading by example through consistently putting in strong performances

GEORGE JAMES – CENTRE BACK George alternates between centre back and centre forward, both positions he has become adept at. Despite a questionable decision to don white boots this season, George has good feet, excellent vision and passing range, making him a real asset to the side

 

OLIVER WOOLLAND – CENTRE BACK Ollie currently holds the record of ‘most spells with the Club’ jointly with Jay Moore. A versatile player, former Southampton academy player, Ollie can play anywhere along the back or in midfield

P9

1

 

 

 

ADAM PARKES –CENTRE BACK

Adam is another strong centre back who has proven during preseason to be equally strong in the air and with the ball at his feet. Adam likes to drive with the ball and maraud forwards. He can also bring a Delap style throw as his party trick.

CAMERON TARR – CENTRE BACK

Back after a lengthy spell on the sidelines with injury, Cam is a great addition to the side, bringing a wealth of experience. A strong, physical presence at back, Cam is excellent in the air and a handful for opposition forwards.

 

MARCUS WILLIAMS (VICE CAPT) – MIDFIELD Club stalwart, after starting at Under 6’s with Rockleaze Marcus is equally adept at fullback or midfield. A tenacious player, Marcus is a nightmare to play against, winning a lot of ball, and whose low centre of gravity makes him very hard to dispossess.

 

DREW SAWDON – MIDFIELD

Hard hitting midfielder hailing from the North, 2023-24 Player’s Player of the Season, Drew enjoyed an outstanding first season in the 1sts, ending up as joint top goal scorer (16) as well as being a dominating presence in the midfield.

P10

1

 

 

 

SAMUEL BAILEY –

MIDFIELD

Silent assassin, bandit-Bailey is a classy midfielder who both links up play and scores goals through his late runs into the box

BRANDON BOONTAM – MIDFIELD

When you’re that good, you can afford to be a little bit lazy… Bran is an outstanding player, who from time-to-time gets his freekicks on target. Excellent close control and strength had made Brandon one of the first names on the teamsheet

MATTHEW HARRISON – MIDFIELD

Matt is a classy player (like a fine wine) who brings both calmness and an engine to the midfield. Great positional awareness means that Matt rarely needs to sprint, which is just as well

JONATHAN WEBB – MIDFIELD

Jon is your typical box to box midfielder – strong in the tackle, good feet, and likes to drive with the ball. Standing tall at 6’3”Jon is an aerial threat too. Jon has a fierce shot on him too.

P11

1

 

 

 

KACPER KALKOWSKI –

WINGER

Kacper is incredibly talented – a tricky winger who has great feet and an eye for goal. He has excellent set piece delivery, bagging a number of assists last season.

NICHOLAS JONES – WINGER

Former Cribbs winger, Nick brings pace, experience and a winning mentality to the side. Nick loves to get forwards with his mazy runs, but is equally adept defensively, making him a real asset on the left.

 

FRASER BUTT – WINGER

Former Gloucester City academy player, Fraser is a mercurial talent with an eye for goal, as well as being a set piece specialist. Able to play practically any position, Fraser is incredibly versatile. Not the keenest trainer, Fraser nonetheless does it where it counts on the pitch

TATE SHAW – WINGER

He might be built like p!@#, but Tate brings extreme pace to the side, and is an excellent finisher, as demonstrated by his well taken goals in preseason games against Cribbs and Bitton

 

P12

1

 

 

DANIEL WEBB –

FORWARD Tour and social secretary, Webby is also a Gloucestershire County League veteran, having terrorised opposition with his skill, movement and goals for a number of years. Joint top goal scorer (16) last season, whilst chipping in with a number of assists, Webby will be looking to add to his tally this year

JAMES GOULDEN – FORWARD

Sporting a suspect tache and frosted tips, when not taking long coach trips across Portugal, James is a tall and tricky forward. Backed with a great touch and good off the ball movement, James is an exciting talent and one to watch for the future

 

JENSON BEARD – FORWARD

Jenson is swiftly becoming the complete striker. Bringing pace, physicality, work-rate, as well as guile, Jenson finished the 2023-24 season as joint top goal scorer (16). An exciting prospect, we hope to see Jenson continue on this trajectory

JORDAN DENT – FORWARD

Despite a string of injuries over the last few seasons, “Barry” Dent is nonetheless a quality forward with an eye for goal. Narrowly missing out on the Club golden boot last season, despite only returning to fitness for the second half of the season, Jordan will look to continue this form into the 2024-25 season. Jordan is a liability on a night out though.

P13

1

 

 

 

MANAGEMENT

 

PETER BRADBURY – MANAGER

Long serving manager, into his 14th season having managed the Club’s Reserves, A team and B team previously. Now into a 7th season with the 1st team, Bradders is looking to attain promotion for the Club after last season’s 3rd placed finish.

LEE DOUGLAS – ASSISTANT MANAGER Long suffering assistant manager to Bradders, Lee has been signed up for another season. Lee is a generous man who is well loved and respected by everyone in the Club. Known to be quite loud, from time to time, avoid standing directly in his path

JASON TARR – ASSISTANT MANAGER New addition to the management team for the 2024-25 season, Jason is an excellent coach, but also a calm head with a wealth of experience on matchday

 

WARNING THE DANGERS OF PYROTECHNICS AT FOOTBALL MATCHES

The potential injuries sustained as a result of someone using a pyrotechnic include:

• Serious injuries, such as loss of limb or fingers

• Severe burns, due to temperatures of up to 2,000°C • Breathing problems, due to smoke inhalation

• Loss of hearing or sight, because of the explosive power Action will be taken by the GFA if any club is reported to them by the Referee.

You have been warned

 

P14

FIXTURES 2024/25

P15

 

 

P16

 

P17

 

 

P18
PLAYER STATS Total League Lge Cup GFA
A S G A S G A S G A S G
Nick JONES 25 2   20 1   3 1   2    
Jordan BUCKETT 24 1 1 20 1   2     2   1
Marcus WILLIAMS 24   4 19   3 3     2   1
Cameron TARR 23 3 1 18 3 1 2     3    
George JAMES 23 3 2 19 3 2 3   3 1    
Drew SAWDON 23 1 9 17 1 6 3   1 3   2
Sam BAILEY 22 1 4 17 1 2 3     2   2
Fraser BUTT 21 5   17 5   2     2    
Callum WINTER 19 9 3 15 8 2 3 1   1   1
Tasman ROOK 19 4   14 2   2 1   3 1  
Matthew HARRISON 18 8 4 14 7 3 2 1   2 0 1
Bleran THAQI 18 6 1 14 3   2 1 1 2 2  
Tate SHAW 17 14 2 13 10 2 2 2   2 2  
Kacper KALKOWSKI 17 9 3 14 7 1       3 2  
Jordan DUNNING 17     13     1     3    
Jordan DENT 15 4 6 10 2 2 3 1 2 2 1 2
Joe HODSON 14 13 3 10 9 1 2 2 1 2 2 1
James GOULDEN 14 7 3 10 6 2 1 1 1 3    
Daniel WEBB 14 4 1 11 4 1 1   1 2    
Harry TRETT 10     8     2          
Harvey MORAN 9 1   9 1 1            
Harrison HOARE 8 4   5 3   2 1   1    
Rhys ILES 7 7 2 6 6 1       1 1  
Brandon BOONTAM 5 2 1 5 1 1   1        
Jonathon WEBB 5 2   4 1         1 1  
Peter IRELAND 3 1   3 1              
Jenson BEARD 2 2   2 2              
Jack HOSKINS 2     2                
Sam HOLLAND 1     1                
Own Goals     2           1     1
Abbreviations A=Appearances S=Sub G-=Goals
P19

 

 

Last night the Reserves defeated title contenders Wessex Wanderers 4-0 at Arnall Drive. On target were Zayd Alli, James Goulden, Ahmed Hussein and Dave Dassy-Soh. 

 

BRISTOL SUBURBAN LEAGUE

Premier Division

 

Reserves Remaining Matches

Saturday 12th April - 2pm

v Old Cothamians

@Arnall Drive

 

Tuesday 15th April - 6.15pm

v Broad Plain House

 @ Creswick Road, Bristol BS4 1UA

 

Saturday 19th April - 2.00pm

v Redbridge Saturday

@ Somerdale Pavillion

 

Saturday 26th April - 2.00pm

v Mendip Broadwalk Reserves

@ Arnall Drive

 

 

 

P20

 Club History

Frampton Utd AFC was founded in 1891, making it one of the founder members of the Stroud League. They have played at the Bell Field for over 80 years and originally their HQ was the Bell Hotel until 1968 when new changing quarters were built on the Bell Field.

 

The club has competed in a number of leagues within the county. The early years seeing them in the Stroud League, and the now obsolete Severn Vale League.

 

The club joined the Glos. Northern Senior League in 1953/54 which they were to play for just one season, before returning in 1964. In 1976/77 the Reserve XI won the Stroud Division One League and were promoted to the Glos. Northern Senior League whilst the 1st XI then went on to play in the Glos.County League in which they competed for a further 10 years.

 

As with many clubs, around 2002 results of both teams were not going our way, and a couple of difficult seasons lay ahead. Eventually the club began to see the good times return, with the 1st XI finishing 3rd in the Stroud and District League in 2007/08, and Runners Up in 2008/09. In 2008/09 the Club also became the winners of the North Glos. County Cup, their first silverware for some years and very much celebrated!

 

2009/10 the 1st XI became Champions of the Stroud League Division 1 ensuring promotion to the Northern Senior League once again.

P21

 Club History continued

They also won the Section 'B' Stroud Charity Cup.

 

2010/11 promotion to GNSL Div 1 was gained by winning the GNSL Div 2 League.

 

2011/12 promotion to Glos County League was gained by becoming Ru/Up in the GNSL Div 1 League.

 

2012/13 we re-introduced a 3rd team, who now play in Stroud & District League Division 4.

 

2017/18 2nd XI were promoted to GNSL Div 2 2023/24 Lee Driver-Dickerson returned as manager of the 1st XI with last season’s 3rd XI manager Dave Clack stepping up to manage 2nd XI and Kris Bulley taking over the 3rd XI job.

 

2024/25 3rds promoted to Stroud Division 3

 

 

P22

 Player Profiles

Tom Kaye – Experienced goalkeeper, excellent shot stopper & great kicker of the ball.

 

Dom Brown – Captain. Solid CB with excellent commitment to the cause.

 

Joe Davis— Young defender who doesn’t shy away from a tackle, reads the game well.

 

James Henderson - Athletic strong defender who isn’t shy of a venture up the pitch.

 

Jacob Geddes - Young,strong & athletic. Made a great impact when joining the club last season bringing experience with him.

 

George Blythe — A hard working and battling central midfield player with a good attitude and a desire to keep improving.

 

Fin Blythe – Attacking player who chips in with his fair share of goals, best left foot around.

 

Adam Cox – A busy centre midfielder with good passing ability and not scared of a tackle.

 

George Driver-Dickerson – Agile defender who can attack as well as he can defend.

 

Manolo Espada – Technically excellent, good goalscorer and distribution of the ball.

 

Ellis Danes-Rutherford - New signing who's young bright & a good finisher, hoping to make an impact in his first season for the club 

 

P23

Player Profiles continued

 

Henry Driver – Dickerson — Young player enjoying his 2nd season in mens football.Talented & hoping to improve on his strong goal tally from last season

 

Stan Shilton — Young and energetic, good left foot willing to run himself into the ground.

 

Max Harper-Emerson - Agile and both footed,hard to stop when at top speed.

 

Harry Churchley- Returning to the club after a few years away,versatile player who looks to get on the ball.

 

Harvey Long— Always looking to get on the ball, technically gifted hoping for a strong season,

 

Josh Browning – Calm midfielder who lends the ball well,and a consistent performer.

 

Stuart Maule – A real club man who will do anything he is asked to do for the team. Is a handful to play against for any defenders.

 

Charlie Nash- Young & very technically gifted on the ball. Making his progression into the 1st team after a promising pre season

 

Tom Mangan – Young player,good energy excellent finisher.

 

Manager— Lee Driver-Dickerson

 

Physio— Abbie Klus

 

P24

 

 

 

 

P25

 

 

 

 

At the top Almondsbury still have the points and consolidated top spot by beating one of their rivals Frampton United. At the bottom despite picking up a point, things are still very bleak for Gala Wilton and not much better for Cheltenham Civil Service, whilst Quedgeley Wanderers picked up a valuable away point at Ruardean Hill despite conceding in the last minute for the second week running.

 

It was a windy start up on Ruardean Hill and Quedgeley Wanderers had an early chance but a loose touch allowed Walding to challenge. An active start and Ollie Mason breaks up the line and crosses to the near post and Steve Clark chipped over, and a minute later QW had a 4th minute lead, The Hill defence lost the high ball in the wind and Fin Jenner cooly finished past Aaron Underwood. For the next 15 minutes both teams tried to get a foothold but the windy conditions caused them both problems. Jenner had a good chance for QW but Underwood made a great save. Just after the half hour Mason got the ball 30 yards out and being urged to shoot duly obliged firing just over Steve Sparrow’s crossbar. On 39 minutes a great move by Hill saw Clark go through but Sparrow smothered the ball. Hill started to see more of the ball in the second half but it was always the final ball that let them down as they searched for an equaliser. Hill were reduced to ten as Tyler Adams was adjudged to be the last man with a quarter of an hour to go! But, they still applied pressure and a Clark corner was hooked just wide by Tom Landon, and two minutes from time Hill equalised, a great through ball found Alex Stephens whose shot brought a great save by Sparrow but Stephens struck the rebound home for 1-1.

 

Gala Wilton took on Broadwell Amateurs on a bright sunny afternoon at Fairmile Gardens, determined to finally bring their run of defeats to an end. The first half was a competitive affair with chances for both sides but defences came out on top to ensure a goalless first half. The second half followed a similar pattern, although Gala were on top

 

P26

 

 

 

 

for the final half hour hunting for a winning goal but it wasn’t to be, and disappointed not to get three points they can take the positives into their midweek six pointer clash at Cheltenham Civil Service.

 

At Tewkesbury Road Cheltenham Civil Service took on Sharpness with both teams needing the points for different reasons. The game started with Sharpness playing a long ball through which the Service defence failed to deal with, the ball was intercepted by Kier Bennett to open the Sharks account. The second goal for Sharpness resulted from a poor ball played down the Service right which was missed by the full back and found its way to James Tainton to finish for 2-0. The third Sharks goal came from a ball played into the Service box and once again the home defence failed to clear and left James Tainton to score his second goal. With the game effectively over Sharpness just stayed strong at the back for the second half as the business of the day had been completed in the first half and a safe 3-0 win for Sharpness.

 

Enough from the bottom, now to the top and at a windy Bell Field, Frampton United hosted league leaders Almondsbury. The first chance fell to Frampton when a free kick into the box was headed on to Henry Driver-Dickerson but he shot wide. Almondsbury keeper Sam burgess saved a Tom Mangan strike. On the half-hour a long Almonds ball over the top was pulled back by Pali to Craig Lancastle whose shot was saved by Tom Kaye. Frampton’s Mangan was played through but was pulled back and Henry D-D put the free kick into the side netting. The opening goal came shortly after, a long kick from Burgess was headed on by Holver for Lancastle to poke past Kaye. A couple of minutes into the second half Lancastle scored his second when he headed in Holver’s cross. Things got worse for Frampton when substitute Tyers saw red, but in time added on Manolo Espada finished past Burgess to pull a goal back, but it was too little too late and Almondsbury secured a well-deserved three points with the 2-1 win.

 

P27

 

 

 

 

After back-to-back draws Filton Athletic looked to secure a win against Chalford at Pen Park. It was the visitors who started quickest when Ben Minnican found himself on the edge of the box but dragged his shot wide. On eight minutes a long clearance by Dorman set Trey Merrett free, but his lob over the on-rushing Sam Neale was wide of the target. Chalford were in front on 19 mins, when a right-wing corner was flicked in by Andrew Maryon. It was nearly two when Minnican headed over from a corner. On twenty-five, good play down the Filton left from skipper Kyle Thomas found Cooper whose shot was blocked and fell to Yusuf Abdulrahman who tapped home for 1-1. Filton seemed to wake up after that and started to take control and created a few chances, with Kieran Cooper shooting over from a Tom Fry cross, then, in time added on, Trey Merrett failed to find the target from Fraser Venables free kick. Filton started the second half at a fast pace and two minutes in took the lead after good play down the left by Merrett who crossed for an unmarked Cooper to bundle the ball home. The game got a bit scrappy after this and Filton made some changes to try and liven things up, and it was nearly 3-1 when Said Hassan does well down the left but his cross was just in front of Merrett who couldn’t squeeze it in. With five minutes to go Chalford’s Luke Bennyworth found himself in space on the edge but dragged his shot wide and Luke Brunsdon was then sin-binned, but, in time added on they got a free kick in a dangerous area and Jamie Lock fired into the wall then his second attempt went over; and there you have it, a Filton 2-1 win and they have not been beaten in the league since October 26th 2024.

 

At Bristol Barbarians RFC Totterdown United hoped to play better against Henbury and Rockleaze than they did two weeks ago in the League Cup. H&R started the brighter of the two teams and made the most of their start when Goulden beat Totts keeper Martin to the ball and looped it into the net. Totterdown grew into the game and started  

P28

 

 

 

 

playing some nice football, and on the half hour Chaz Hemmings shot was tipped onto the post by Trett, the ball bounced back, struck him and ended up into the net for an unfortunate own-goal and 1-1. H&R started the second half the stronger and controlled most of the proceedings with Totts mainly defending. H&R took the lead on 65 minutes when Harrison’s shot went through a number of bodies and into the net. For the remaining 20 minutes Totterdown tried to find an equaliser but never did enough to score and in the last minute they were convinced there was a handball but the Referee waved the protests away and H&R got a well earnt three points with a 2-1 win.

 

At the Hallett Construction Pavilion, Hanham Athletics inconsistencies showed up again, this time against promotion chasing Stoke Gifford SGS United. Gifford started the stronger and were in front on 10 minutes from a corner which was punched onto Jake Abraham’s head by keeper David Taylor and unfortunately for him it went into the net. Gifford were close again just before the break but Borden’s shot was well tipped over by Taylor. Gifford made it two on 68 minutes when Ollie Stephenson finished superbly when put through on goal. It was 3-0 soon after when Rudy Hill headed home from a corner, after which Hanhan began to fall apart! Taylor could do nothing about the fourth goal when Aaron Sweete hit an unstoppable shot into the top corner and on 90 minutes it was five when Isaac hit a beautiful 25 yard shot over Taylor. Hanham did get a late consolation when a great turn and cross by Brandon Barnes found Tom Sayers who finished it off. So, Giffords promotion chase continues with an excellent 5-1 win.

 

Wick arrived at Pomphrey Hill determined to continue their six-match unbeaten league run against Bromley Heath United, and they were ahead on five minutes, a hopeful shot on the turn by Liam McCracken took a huge deflection off a Bromley defender to end up in the back of the net.

 

 

P29

 

 

 

 

Wick continued to have the better of the first half although the hard pitch and gusty wind didn’t make for pretty football with both sides finding it hard to play their normal passing game. On 20 minutes Wick’s top scorer Cory Langdon got himself on the end of a cross but the defender did enough to make him put the ball inches over the bar. Again, on 35 minutes a good combination with Langdon ended in a shot that was scrambled away. Bromley battled well throughout the half but were restricted to long range efforts or free kicks into the box but couldn’t convert into clear chances. Bromley started the second half well and soon forced Wick keeper Kai Wilson into an excellent save from an equally excellent effort from Jake Millward. This was Bromley’s best period of the game, and they had their chances but were thwarted by a strong Wick defence. As the half progressed, Wick started to regain more control and scored a second on 75 minutes with a quality finish from the lively McCracken. Overall, a deserved 2-0 win for a Wick side who, given the form they are in, are going to make a real challenge for top spot.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

P30

 

 

 

 

 

AMIDST the serious stuff confined behind the closed doors of a football club boardroom, a level of humility is so important.

Football is a different animal these days – especially at elite level – with the Beautiful Game now almost a subsidiary to a ruthless, cut-throat business enterprise.

 

But Non-League football, where the game is at its purest, still proudly holds its traditional values and there’s one day a year in particular where that humility comes to the fore; April Fool’s Day.

 

Fueled largely these days by their social media presence, football clubs simply can’t resist playing a light-hearted seasonal prank on their supporter base and, let’s face it, it gets us every time!

 

Take Ebbsfleet United’s Liam Daish being pictured holding aloft a Usain Bolt shirt with his 100m record 9.58 emblazed on the back after the club announced they had clinched the signing of the Jamaican sprinter.

 

Or, how about when the United Counties League announced they were to trial VAR – a reveal so convincing that it even fooled some FA chiefs into questioning the move around the boardroom table.

 

This week, of course, the tricksters were out in force again – and your Non-League clubs didn’t disappoint.

 

Many pranks involved aspects of stadia with Tiverton Town revealing their intention to paint their pitch in the club’s yellow and black colours in a spirited attempt to rally the team for the final stretch of the season.

 

Farnborough FC announced that their pitch was to double up as a heliport, as an extension of Farnborough Airport, while 

 

 

P31

 

 

 

 

 

neighbours Aldershot Town revealed, Del Boy style, that they had discovered a natural spring at their EBB Stadium and would be offering Aldershot Natural Spring Water in the near future. Water cheek!

 

Crowborough Athletic went a step further by announcing plans to move into a ‘world-class’ all-seater stadium dubbed “Wembley of the Weald”, while Radstock Town also unveiled plans to build a brand-new stadium on the site of an old Co-Op supermarket.

 

Ashington continued the theme by announcing the club were being forced to move into the grounds of the nearby Ashington Hirst Castle by the Coal Authority after a small hole was found in one of the penalty areas, caused by a collapsed seam from the former Woodhorn Colliery.

 

Several clubs revealed they had signed former star players – with two, ironically, snapping up the same one! Former Fulham, Wigan and Ipswich midfielder Jimmy Bullard was introduced by both SC Thamesmead and Boston Town, while ex-Tottenham favourite and TV pundit Garth Crooks was unveiled by Leighton Town.

 

Elsewhere, Chorley FC announced the exclusive launch of their club collectables, including a figurine of manager Andy Preece, while Tamworth  confirmed that their Lamb Ground will to host competitive lamb racing on a matchday as part of their half-time entertainment. That’s baa-rly believable!

 

And in a bold step for international relations, Dover Athletic revealed how they will play their next home game across the Channel in Calais with fans invited to attend the match aboard the new club ferry.

.

 

P32

 

 

 

 

 

Bishops Cleeve unveiled a new slick oil colour shirt (which actually looked quite nice) in conjunction with a sponsorship deal with petrochemical giants INEOS, while Welsh club Colwyn Bay announced that, as from next season, the club will be known as the Turtles rather than the Seagulls, as part of our new partnership with The Blue Turtle Group, with the team running out to the song ‘Turtle Power’.

 

So, once again for April Fool’s Day, our Non-League clubs have done us proud while reminding us that amidst all our airs and graces as football fans, there is always room for a lighter side.

 

To quote the legendary Jimmy Greaves: “It’s a funny old game”.

 

 

P33